A Sunny Day in Glasgow- “The White Witch” (from Ashes Grammar)
INT. GUIDANCE COUNSELOR’S OFFICE- DAY
Katy, Anita, and LINDA, the school guidance counselor, sit in a tight circle talking.
LINDA
Bad things happen to the best people.
As you may know, there’s never a good
time for something like this.
KATY
After a jackpot.
LINDA
What?
KATY
What about after hitting the jackpot in
Atlantic City? Or winning, like, the Nobel
Prize for having a shitload of money? Both
sound like a lot better time to me.
LINDA
It’s okay to say these things. We all
handle grief differently, Katy.
KATY
Some put it in a wooden box. Some
throw it in a kiln and then distribute it
throughout Yellowstone. Some even eat it.
ANITA
Katy, please.
KATY
Oh, I’m just playing around, guys. Let’s
throw a clambake and eat marshmallow fluff
and honey sandwiches while we drink what’s
left of Dad’s barbicide.
LINDA
Her sense of humor is rare, Mrs. Ingle.
KATY
Just like the meat of the recently dead.
ANITA
Katy!
KATY.
I’m not gonna cry. Never.
LINDA
No one is asking you to.
ANITA
Aren’t we though?
Linda and Anita share a look and then stare at Katy, who shifts uncomfortably in her seat.
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The Slits- “Ping Pong Affair” (from Cut)
INT. DEE’S LIVING ROOM- MORNING
Dee walks into the living room, dressed in a robe and holding a mug. The room has only a trace amount of morning light peeking through the shades. Seth lies on a shitty-looking couch under a blanket, hair all mussed. He looks awful.
DEE
Sorry about the set-up. Old thing’s
pretty comfortable, though, right?
SETH
For a dilapidated sofa, yeah.
DEE
You could sleep in our bed, but you
know how Joan is. Still doesn’t really
like you.
SETH
I wouldn’t sleep next to me.
DEE
If you had two bodies.
SETH
If I had two bodies.
DEE
Are you going to call Cate?
SETH
I don’t have any money for a
payphone.
DEE
For fuck’s sake, Seth, use my cell.
SETH
I don’t know her number.
DEE
How long did you date?
SETH
She put it in my old phone!
DEE
How long did you date?
SETH
She won’t pick up.
DEE
Maybe not, I guess.
Seth sits up and turns on the lamp on the end table.
SETH
I’m going to work on an article.
DEE
What about?
SETH
I’m don’t know. Better things.
DEE
That sounds like your ticket off my
couch. I’ll go boil water for your ramen.
Dee rolls his eyes and walks out of the room.
SETH
Don’t bother.
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The Books- “Free Translator” (from The Way Out)
INT. OFFICE- DAY
Lee twirls a pencil in his fingers, staring across the office at KRYSTEN, one of his coworkers, who is sitting at her desk, laughing at Mr. Patterson’s jokes. Serious flirting. Mr. Patterson pulls out his card from his wallet and writes something on the back of it, before handing it to a smiling Krysten. After he leaves her desk, Lee walks over to Krysten.
LEE
Do you have some sort of rough
guide to impressing bosses or
other important people? Does it
involve lipstick, oral sex, or both?
Krysten stares at Lee for a moment, before the phone rings. She reaches for the phone.
EXT. GROCERY STORE- EVENING
Lee holds up two pears, eyeing them both for comparison’s sake. He turns to person next to him, an ELDERLY WOMAN, and puts the pears in her face.
LEE
Is there a rough guide to picking
out the ripest pears?
The elderly woman is taken aback by his question.
LEE (cont’d)
You may have received one during
the Spanish-American War. You know,
back when you were a housewife or
something worse.
She shovels away.
INT. BATHROOM- NIGHT
Lee sits on the toilet, fully-clothed, holding his laptop on his lap. He types furiously for a moment, then looks at his work.
INSERT: His laptop’s screen. A word document is open, with a title page that says:
“The Rough Guide to Endearment (Human Edition)”
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Broken Social Scene- “Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl” (from You Forgot It In People)
INT. DANNY’S BEDROOM- NIGHT
In the mirror’s reflection, Danny tweezes his eyebrows, eliminating any errant hairs above the bridge of his nose. He rises from his seat, and it’s now seen that he’s wearing his father’s suit, baggy in all the wrong places.
Danny grabs the extension cord and plugs in the stand-up fan. With one finger, he presses “PLAY” on his boombox, and the room fills with chamber music. Taking the fan in his grasp, Danny begins to ballroom dance with the appliance, smoothly gliding around the carpet, wind blowing through his hair.
MOM (O.S.)
Danny? What are you doing?
Danny quickly drops the fan and looks to the door.
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Bedhead- “The Rest of the Day” (from Beheaded)
INT. BASEMENT- NIGHT
Brent puts a pen down and folds the sheet of paper into thirds.
BRENT (V.O.)
You need to know this: I still don’t know
how to read any of what you sent me
afterward.
He looks at what’s on the table in front of him: a created city of minute world landmarks: a tiny Big Ben, Empire State Building, and Sydney Opera House. There’s no miniature stores or buildings— just monuments.
BRENT (V.O.)
You need to know this: those weren’t my
real eyebrows.
Brent grabs a box from behind him and puts it on the table. It says:
“MODEL LEANING TOWER OF PISA- ADVANCED LEVEL”
BRENT (V.O.)
And you need to know this: my left foot went
numb every time he stressed the word
“complications.”
EXT. PIER- DAWN
A van pulls up to the end of the dock, misty in the early morning fog.
BRENT (V.O.)
I’ve hired people to do something that
should have been done a lifetime ago.
A MOVER jumps out of the car and goes to the back of the vehicle, opening up the gate. The only thing inside is a toy piano.
BRENT (V.O.)
It will not make you happy. Thankfully,
it will not make me happy either.
The mover throws the toy piano into the water. The piano doesn’t sink, but the top opens up and other items spill out.
BRENT (V.O.)
That’s not why it must be done. I trust
that you’ll respect that.
Floating on the surface along with the bobbing piano is a baby rattler and a clear plastic bag filled with pacifiers. Some of the pacifiers escape from the bag.
BRENT (V.O.)
Even if when you close your eyes, all you see
is forest fires and drowned kittens.
INT. KITCHEN- AFTERNOON
The letter lies unfolded on the table. The sink is running. Next to it are literally 40 empty bottles of assorted liquors. Laura stands at the sink, pouring a bottle of Seagram’s down the drain.
BRENT (V.O.)
I wish you the best that this world can
conjure up.
Once the last bottle is drained, Laura looks at the shelf above her and pulls down a bottle of vinegar.
BRENT (V.O.)
Knowing the place as well as I do, I
wouldn’t expect diamond rings underneath
your pillow when you wake up.
She begins to pour that into the sink.
BRENT (V.O.)
But keep smiling when they say cheese.
Because they never stop saying it.
INT. BASEMENT- NIGHT
Brent glues the final piece of the miniature Leaning Tower of Pisa onto the top. Its tilt is true to form. The tower stands next to the other minute world landmarks.
BRENT (V.O.)
Laura, you’ll always be beautiful.
Brent flicks the foundation of the tower, and it falls over.
BRENT (V.O.)
Until you’re not.
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Beach House- “Lover of Mine” (from Teen Dream)
EXT. CARNIVAL- NIGHT
Todd and Mark are riding the ferris wheel, face to face in the same carriage. They’re at the apex of the wheel’s rotation. No one can see them. A multitude of lights flash beneath. They don’t care.
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The 6ths- “Falling Out of Love (With You)” (from Wasps’ Nests)
INT. BEDROOM- NIGHT
Amy and Chris lie in bed. The clock flashes 7:21 over and over, ignored. Amy is sleeping on her side, while Chris is on his back, eyes open. He puts a hand on Amy’s scalp and scratches.
CHRIS
I think our microwave’s running.
Amy opens her eyes.
AMY
No, it’s off. What does that even
mean?
CHRIS
I don’t know. I can’t sleep when I
think about drinking coffee
tomorrow morning.
AMY
Sometimes I put headphones on I’m
on the subway and I’m not even
listening to anything.
CHRIS
People always want me to tell them
about myself, so I do. They seem
disappointed usually. Am I doing
something wrong?
AMY
I think that it’s easy to find things
to worry about.
Chris looks at the flashing clock.
CHRIS
What a minute to live in.
AMY
Do you still need me?
CHRIS
Yeah, but only for a little bit longer.
Amy closes her eyes again.
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Smog- “Hit The Ground Running” (from Knock Knock)
INT. JOEY’S BEDROOM- NIGHT
Ants crawl through their pre-ordained tunnels. Joey looks through the ant farm’s display at their movement. He lets out a loud sigh.
Walking away from the ant farm on his bookshelf, Joey looks down and out his open window.
POV JOEY- It’s a long way down to the lawn.
Joey backs away from the window and goes to the ant farm. He grabs it and carries it to the window. After a moment of hesitation, he chucks the ant farm out the window. A crash can be heard. Joey has a smile on his face.
EXT. LAWN- NEXT DAY
The ant farm’s glass exterior is shattered into pieces. A single ant can be seen moving across one of the pieces of glass. The sprinkler turns on, spraying water onto the remnants of the ant farm. The single ant is washed off its piece of glass, out of sight.
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Low- “Sunflower” (from Things We Lost in the Fire)
INT. METRO STATION- EVENING
The doors of a train open, and blob of people pile out. Through the crowd, Paul emerges, stone-faced and wearing headphones. His face is flushed.
POV PAUL- Everything looks slanted— people, pillars, and the staircase ahead. The songs he’s listening to fades into a distant hum. Suddenly— A WHITE FLASH.
Paul looks unsure. He takes his headphones out. ANOTHER WHITE FLASH.
Paul holds his head in his hands. Looking down, he sees that his shoes are untied. He bends down to tie his shoelaces, but as he crouches— A WHITE FLASH— and Paul is slumped on the floor, unconscious. No one seems to notice his body immediately.
INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY
Tanya sits on the couch peeling an orange. The Christmas tree is behind her. She scoops the peels pieces into her hand, then gets up from the couch and walks over to the wall, where four stockings are hanging on nails. All four stockings are empty. She takes down the stocking decorated with a reindeer and a stitched “PAUL.” She puts the pieces of peel in the stocking and hangs it back on its nail.
INT. AIRPLANE- MORNING
Marilyn is in the window seat, looking out through the small slab of glass not covered. The sun is beginning to appear from the obscurity of clouds. Her mascara is beginning to cake. She presses the call button above her, almost involuntarily, eyes still focused on what’s outside.
After a few seconds, a STEWARDESS comes over.
STEWARDESS
Madam, is everything okay?
Marilyn looks up and shakes her head.
MARILYN
No. Not at all.
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Steve Reich- “Electric Counterpoint: Fast” (from Different Trains/Electric Counterpoint)
INT. WINE BAR- NIGHT
Dave, Lara, Jack, and Emma are in the midst of a conversation. Each couple sits across from each other. A bottle of wine is chilling on the table.
LARA
And for some reason, I believed that
if I played well that day, maybe hit a
homer or turned a double play, only
then would we get pizza after the
game. As if I mattered that much. Now
I can see that we were going to go to
Pizza Hut as a softball team no matter
what I did.
DAVE
How clear our blurring of the past
can sometimes be.
LARA
Did you play sports, Jack, when
you were a kid?
JACK
I dabbled.
(laughs)
No, my father signed me up for
football at age 8 and the hits didn’t
stop until he passed away five years
later.
LARA
Like it?
JACK
The opposite. What’s appealing about
consistently being driven into soil for
60 minutes? It was real bad. On
gamedays, I would get up early and
run out into the street, dressed in my
uniform. It was dumb, but I’d try to get
hit by a car, get hurt just enough to not
have to go the morning’s game.
LARA
Wow.
JACK
How ‘bout you, Dave?
DAVE
Soccer. Ran in the family.
LARA
In addition to a surfeit of back
hair.
DAVE
Listen, I had amazing vision. I ran shit
on that field. I found teammates in the
right spot and got the ball to them.
Made goals happen. Rarely did I ever
feel better as a kid than after assisting
on a game-winner.
Dave grabs the bottle of wine from the ice bucket and tops everyone off.
DAVE
To things we thought were important
before we knew about important things.
Their glasses clink.
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